Friday, September 30, 2011


Won't it be good,
when everyone worships you,
and there's no strife any more
over which God to follow.

Won't it be good when we all acknowledge
and thank you for all your goodness to us,
living in the harmony so many of us desire,
when we're truly at one with nature,
because we're at one with you,
its maker.

John asked us to Imagine
all people living as one.

I rejoice that you are bringing us,
calling us to gather
round the tree of life,
with healing leaves...

And Yusuf and I won't have to fight any more...
That'll be good.

But we only won't be arguing
because he'll be gone...

And that is where my courage fails.

No Beatle, Bono, or Bon Jovi
ever ended a song for world peace
by proclaiming damnation.

No pop songs prophesy the establishment of righteousness
by the rooting out of all evil, rejection and dishonour.
Or if they do, it's about people 'over there'
instead of the ones in here...

Am I like a mistaken German,
loving Hitler?

You're not promising an Aryan paradise,
created by the extermination of all
destructive elements.

But there are many images
of gas chambers,
melting pots,
vats and floods of blood.

I think you promise resurrection
and restoration.

But there will be a charnel house for some...

What do I do with that?

I love you.
I love that picture of perfect peace.
I hope it will come.  

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


I want to talk about Deborah Lord, 
and the difficult path you took her on, 
defying expectation,
social convention, 

Defying 'good Biblical scholarship',
systematic theology,
the pattern of all good things. 


How inappropriate was she?
Why did you put her there?
Was she as tortured 
as blessed Theresa
by mentors crying
"heresy bell!"
"The devil has sent you thus."

Was she annoyed 
by people constantly saying
she was only called upon
because none of the men stood up...?

Only, as though her gifts
and godliness
and courage
played no important part?!

Only, because of the failures of others
instead of maybe because you wished it so?
Designed her for it?
Equipped and blessed her?

Or was she fine with it all?
Content in you?
To serve and suffer and 
prophesy and judge and
Disposed of in whatever way you saw fit?

You know I'm a complete mess of contradiction, 
that I'm frustrated by not having things 
which I probably wouldn't want, 
with all the 21st century jealousy 
of a hapless consumer of
steak knives, aah bras and amazing gym equipment
that I will never use...

Calm the storm as you always do, 
tell the wind and the waves to SHUT UP!!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


I wish the lost were lost with you Lord. 

Like I am. 

Lost with you instead of wandering, rambling by themselves, 
or worse, 
gathered together in packs of foolishness, 
collections of of ignorance, 
led by the blind, 
going nowhere. 

I'm lost, but in you. 

I too suffer under blind leaders, 
guiding me nowhere, 
but you are always with me. 
At least in you, I stumble in darkness toward hope. 

I saw the moon beside a palm tree tonight, 
and thought it was the sun. 
Why do we call them the sun, 
the moon?
Why do we call Him the Spirit?
Is it a harkening back to the wind?

As I wander down dream trails, 
thought rails, 
spirals and snails, 
I know I'm not lost. 

You're with me. 



Friday, September 9, 2011

what a cliché

I know it's stupid.
That everyone's thought this before,
talked this before,
written this before.
You must get at least a little sick of it!

But I feel it at the moment...

It's the reason I shouldn't listen to Daydreamer by Adele
(beautiful singer, evil, evil song. Who could possibly inhabit that unreal expectation?!).
It's the reason I shouldn't watch Pride and Prejudice when I feel like this
(beautiful story, no delightful implications for Mary!).
It's the reason I shouldn't check facebook every thirty seconds
(beautiful community, no matter what people say, but every viewing only increases disappointment! The deserved frustrations of the village gossip when everyone's closed their doors for the night...).

So I know it's stupid...
But it's love!

I know it's boring by repetition,
but it's love!

It's discontented love.

It's the desire for love.

It's the feelings of love.

It's the reason I'm dissatisfied in you sometimes,
and the reason I don't want to be.

The Proclaimers sing that when you're in love, you're out of your mind.
That romantic love rots the brain.
They are so right!

Even when there's no one specific.
Even if the other person has no idea at all.
Or does and is embarrassed for you.
Or suspects but doesn't want you.
Even then, the brain rot can set in.

I'm sick of feeling like this,
because I don't want to resent you!
Or the life you give me.

But I can't help wishing,
and hoping,
and praying,
that that person will turn and know.
That that person will realise, or confess, or acknowledge...

Or any person! Anyone...

But I know that my struggling in itself pleases you.
That by inviting you in, and asking, and hoping,
I'm trusting.

So please help me to keep trusting you God.
And crying,
and not crying,
and not giving a rats,
and caring desperately about it,
because I want you to be involved in all of that.

And I want you to answer!


Love Jo.  

Sunday, September 4, 2011

prayer for Dad

Hey Daddy,

remember that time we went fishing,
you, me and Dad,
up at Yamba,
and I got really excited cos I caught three fish on one line?
You've said you'll never forget it
and I'm like, "duh Dad, you're omniscient.

And do you remember that other time
when I was bullied at school
and I really just wanted you to come pick me up
so I didn't have to stay there any longer
but you have no physical arms,
so it was kind of a long wait...

I hid in a thicket for a while...

From memory...

And remember that other other time
when I was sinking into how totally crap it is
that so many people seem to die alone in jail.
I think we'd had one too many Voice Of The Martyrs presentations at youth-group or something.
Not that you ever can have too many of those,
but turns out staring at one aspect of a problem for too long distorts the whole picture...
I wanted you to fix that too.
And I remember you saying,
"I'll get right onto it!"
And I was confused,
because I thought you sounded a bit too much like a sitcom Dad all of a sudden.

But I remember heaps of other times as well
where everything felt pretty good.
We were singing in church together,
or pondering the state of the universe on long car trips.
You've never been too distracted to listen to my long and glorious internal rants
about obscure theological subjects,
where I twist and turn so many times,
change opinions,
go back over old ground.

We can sit and chat for hours,
and I've always really appreciated that.

Just like my human father,
you're also really good at returning to a subject
after a five year break in the conversation,
without blinking an eye,
as though we talked about it yesterday.
I love that about you both.
It shows you understand my mind,
and that you value our relationship.
I've really really needed that at times.

I can talk to you when there's no one else there to listen,
no one else who can be bothered.
That's pretty awesome.

I hope I don't only turn to you in desperation.
I don't think so, but I don't want to do that.

I mean, it's hard sometimes to bridge the gap,
and just spend quality time with each other
when there's no particular reason to hang out together.
Sometimes it's just hard to communicate...

But just like with human Dad,
I really want to talk!
I don't want you to just be a bill-payer,
a problem-solver,
a house-mover,
a person I only call when I want something done,
or someone to tell me I'm pretty.

Not that human Dad is super on the ball with that last one either!
But I think I've come to accept it's cos he doesn't really care about it,
and loves me anyway.


Kind of everything you look for in a good father.

Thanks Dad.


(Just fyi, this is totally an unashamed tribute to Fathers on Father's Day, especially mine. Love you Dad.)